But she also reminded me that, "while feeling good and being confident about your [appearance] is very important to your overall health and well-being, physical self-care is one aspect of your overall self-care, which includes caring for your mental, emotional, relational, and spiritual health.
Sure, dressing yourself so that you feel well-groomed and confident is a great example of self-care. In our interview, Dr. Kris called "shopping therapy" a form of "maladaptive" coping mechanism. None of these things are bad per se," she explained, "but if we are living a 'goods life,' we will have a harder time getting to what positive psychologists call 'the good life' So shopping therapy comes with baggage even if you do have the money to be constantly buying yourself new stuff.
But it's especially bad if you are going into debt to do it. Debt is a major contributor to stress problems, so unnecessarily digging yourself in deeper is not a good self-care strategy. Burton even compared using shopping as an unhealthy coping mechanism to the likes of overindulging in "drinking, eating, pills, or sex.
Deciding what self-care really is and isn't often has a lot to do with what your normal habits are. Are you generally quite mindful about the kind of food you put in your body? Eating veggies and fruits at most every meal and staying away from too much processed junk? Then you may want to grant yourself a little flexibility and have an occasional treat, especially if it's part of a social occasion.
But if you frequently use sugar as a coping mechanism, reinforcing that negative habit may not serve you. Burton told me that when it comes to making decisions about what makes for good self-care, it's important to consider " So should you have that treat? So ask yourself how the treat in question will make you feel, and remember that wisdom that the best healthy diets are the ones you can stick to — those that allow for a bit of flexibility. While an occasional treat won't wreck your health, bingeing on sugar or frequent "overindulgence in food So while eating half a tray of brownies might make you feel better in the moment, it's not real self-care, because after-the-fact you'll probably feel worse than you did, not better.
So any time you're making choices about what kind of self-soothing activity you might want to engage in, consider if it will help or hurt your bottom-line wellbeing. When I asked about some of her favorite self-care activities, Dr. Kris listed "exercise and movement" near the top. And not only will making room in your schedule for regular exercise keep your body healthy, in many cases it's been shown to be as effective as pharmaceuticals in managing mood, anxiety, and depression.
Kate F. Hays told the American Psychological Association. You can also use exercise as a way to zone out and relax your mind — "as a distraction" from other, less-enriching zoning-out methods, like mindless snacking or TV-watching. What's a good example of exercise as self care? Have you read any of the recent media debating whether or not millennials are the new victorians or puritans? The thought is that today's young adult generation is romanticizing "virtuous behaviors," the way the strict victorian and puritan cultures did, through intense lifestyle choices like marathon running, the raw food movement, juice fasts, etc.
So while frequent, even daily, exercise is a super important part of self-care, too much might be counter-productive.
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Exercise as self-care works when it's about feeling good, healthy, and self-confident, not when it's about " Humans are social beings. And while tending toward introversion and liking your alone time are fine and totally normal, no woman is an island. Kris lists building and maintaining "positive, nurturing, reciprocal relationships," as a crucial form of adaptive self-care.
5 Truths About Self-Care
These qualities are important in your relationships with your family chosen or biological , but it's also important to cultivate these qualities in key friendships as well. At a certain point in life, juggling career, family, kids, housekeeping, etc. Don't fall into the trap of letting key friendships fall to the side! Kris advises "mak[ing] the time for relationships that help you grow with people who are also committed to growth and well-being. This helps spur on follow-through. Making time for friends and fun is definitely crucial, but if you find yourself going out constantly at the expense of any of your other self-care routines, responsibilities, or budget, then maybe you should ask yourself if there's something you're avoiding unintentionally or not.
If you find your budget, grades, house cleanliness, etc.
Kris might refer to as "maladaptive overindulgence," and overindulgence is not a word that mixes well with self-care. So what's the antidote? Kris said, "mindfulness has become 'the new kale' for good reason. It's not just a fad You've almost definitely heard the wisdom that learning how to say "no" is a crucial skill for the over-burdened. Burton rather eloquently told me, "Self-care is about setting emotional boundaries that protect your health and well-being, and saying no to people in your life who try to drag you into their sea of despair or dysfunctional relationships and are unwilling to help themselves.
So if your overly dramatic frienemy wants you to drop everything you're doing and listen to her crazy Tinder story for the tenth time this week, for instance, or your undermining mother wants to order you around deep into adulthood, you may have to be cruel to be kind and set some healthy boundaries. While setting healthy boundaries is pivotal to maintaining your health and sanity, there is the potential to go too far, and start to isolate yourself from meaningful relationships.
Kris told me. Sometimes it feels so tempting to retreat from the stresses of society and just "Netflix and chill" and sometimes that's fine. But totally giving in to this impulse could be a mistake. Practice meditation, self-reflection, and positive affirmations.
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Make a conscious effort to find gratitude for the things in your life. Let yourself feel sad when you need to. But do everything you can to continue showing love to yourself and staying present in the moment. I hope this post has given you some self-care inspiration to help you create more balance in your life.
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Remember that taking care of yourself is about more than luxurious indulgences; self-care is about the habits, behaviors, and mindset you engage in every single day. My time is now MY time, and I can spend it doing things that I genuinely love doing! Time is of the essence! SUCH a thought-provoking list…Love number 5, the part about taking imperfect action. Too often we wait for that perfect starting point for all of the stars to align instead of jumping in head first! All points are so on point!
I try to practice mindfulness every day, worry less, commit to less, and have less screen time. It surprises me how hard living simply can be!!
Self Care: Take care of yourself the moment you open your eyes in the morning!
Great post!! What a great list! It made me realise all the small things that I took for granted and made me happier as a result.
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So many fantastic tips!! The toughest for me is saying no and standing on it. Brilliant work and thank you for your writing!
I really liked that piece! Indeed, if you want to practice self-acceptance you need to find time for brain gym exercise and meditation. These are the best tools ever! One more tip I liked so much is to trust your intuition. Why not? So, dare to live your life you really want and deserve! Be calm and stay happy! I love this! Thank you for sharing the wellness wheel. I like your writing, keep up the good work!